And apparently it was all lies.
Pirates do a lot! Like shanghai ships, steal cargo, hold U.S. sailors hostage, and generally terrorize the high seas! Who fucking knew? I went to Seton Hall and I was the laziest pirate you ever saw.
Seriously though, I knew that pirates were still a problem in today's society but I didn't realize they could actually cause this much trouble in one fell swoop. And apparently Obama's in a bit of a pickle because he doesn't want to use the fire power we have out there on the seas. This article analyzing his dilemma is nice but I'm going to assume that Barack has just decided to go in a different with this one.
He can either use the whole navy or....
JUST USE A FUCKING ARMY OF NINJAS
It's a rivalry as old as time itself. The two groups will be forced to battle for all eternity so not only don't you worry about the pirates anymore, you can use the kinetic energy from the fighting as a green source of energy!
I, of course, will be sitting out as I received a Doctorate of Ninjology as a Seton Hall Pirate so I'm perpetually conflicted.
DK
P.S. The spell check tried to tell me Ninjology isn't a word. Silly, right?
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